Storm wreaks havoc in my mind

So we had a nasty storm. We lost power at my house,lost our heat and my husband bailed the water out of the basement. Trees crushed mobile homes and vehicles. Roads are washed out and many a tree fell. Even the hospital I work at 45 minutes away ran on a generator throughout the night due to power outages. There was a landslide on the road I travel to work, and officials are expecting the river that I need to pass to by to flood the road within the next few hours. The baby's daycare is without power as well. Hopefully I make it to work and wont get stuck there. If the roads I normally take are out I can probably take VT Interstate 91 and then go to NH and get on I89 and get home. It will take me over an hour out of my way but I will be able to get from A to B. I am taking the truck today so I can drive through watery messes.
I have thought alot in during the past few days. I am considering filling out the paperwork to take the nursing course at a hospital closet to home that begins in June. It is a paid course, so I would earn a fulltime paycheck while learning. I have 4 days to complete and send in the application. It is what I really want to do. The requirement is that after I complete the classes I would work for them for at least a year or I would have to pay the tuition. I need to get at least 2 letters of reference, and fill out an application to be accepted into the program. What do you think? I want to help people. Thats the part about my current job that I like. However, I dont like being a manager, I dont like having to be responsible for irresponsible, snobby, silver spooned women. I can work with people like that but I find it very difficult to actually manage them. I want to make a difference in peoples life. I have taken alot of crap from the women I work with. The ones in particular that dont have children, dont like children and dont understand what it is like to be a mother. They liked me just fine when I only had an older child. It seems like they were disgusted by my pregnancy. One of them actually told me I should have an abortion because I was struggling with being ill during pregnancy. When I came back early from maternity leave I was faced with a huge sense of not belonging there. Everyone had banded together and "changed" things and suddenly I didnt belong. I am angry that all of my hard work is irrelevant or discounted because how dare I have another child. After all I was expected to be a "career" woman. I wasnt supposed to mess things up by having a kid. I was counted on to have froofie hair and important lunch meetings, not diapers and daycare phone calls. I'm not supposed to smell like desitin, I am supposed to smell like chanel #5 or something. I am supposed to chat about artwork, and time shares, carry a coach bag and eat at the trendy downtown Vermont restaurant where you cant get a cup of tea for under $10.00. Am I supposed to want to fit in with these people? It feels worse than highschool. I feel like I am the odd man out, because I dont have colored Reeboks and Guess Jeans. I am just sick and tired of it and I need a solution. I feel like I am holding some kind of weird grudge and its only hurting me. I am trying to work out in my mind the facts. The true and honest facts about why I hate it there. Is it going to be different somewhere else? Could I make things better for myself by not being in this position? Or would it make my life worse? If I were a nurse I wouldnt have problems with not having the "right clothes" I could wear scrubs like everyone else. Do I want to blend in? Is that what it is? Does this have alot to do with my actual job? Or is it the rest of the crap that goes along with working with the people I work with? Do I just like what being an nurse stand for? Do I need to be a caretaker of some sorts and I cant do that well in my current position? What is wrong with me? Am I depressed, yes I can answer that question honestly. Do I need a change, yes I do. I think for me change brings on positives. A fresh outlook. I need to meet new people. I need to meet new people and have a chance to be myself. I guess I can admit I need to be around people that can enjoy me being around. I dont necessarily need validation, but it would be good to do something that makes me feel good. I want to be happy. I want to feel good about myself. I want to be a good student. That would help my self esteem. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. That I can bring on positive change for myself. There is nothing worse than sitting around feeling guilty and down on yourself for doing nothing to make your life better. Especially when you know you have what it takes to be a much stronger, better person. Why do I procrastinate it? I can do better than this.